Discombobulated

That is how I have been feeling for over a month now. I am STILL fighting the superbug from hell. It is now going on five weeks since I started feeling sick. I have the horrendous cough that is entirely too embarrassing when out in public. Yeah it sounds like I am going to hack up a lung in the very near future. I am also completely and utterly exhausted. I have not felt this tired since Jack was a newborn and you are supposed to feel like crap. Even Jim came down with some crud and was pretty much over it in three days. Wahhh! Not that I don't want him to get over the sickies, I just want to do it too.

Anyway, needless to say life has been feeling a bit discombobulated lately. There are other factors that have led to this feeling.

1. Jim's mother, Grammy C., has been in the hospital for over a week now. She is not doing well and has a lot of problems, with the major one being diagnosed with kidney cancer. She is 86 years old and up until now was going unbelievably strong. But she is not going to have any surgery or any treatment. She is going home to get her "affairs in order" and spend some more time with her family and friends. We support her decision and understand it. But we are going to miss her when that time comes and spend as much time as we can up there.

2. The house is a mess. I mean it is bordering on health hazard right now. I hate the feeling when there is chaos going on in the house. And this house is chaotic right now!

3. What is going on in the world right now. It seems like the world is ending with all this financial mess. I don't know what that means to my family. I think we are pretty safe, but ya never know. And should we cancel our Disney trip in January? We have a good portion saved for the trip, but should we just keep that money? But then the memories and the look on Jack's face on Big Thunder Mountain is priceless.

4. I have been gaining weight during this sickness because I have been doing the bare minimal of going to work, shopping for the bare essentials (toilet paper when we had not one square in the house) and parenting to Jack. In between all of that, I have sat or laid my butt in the family usually moaning to some degree. I have been taking vitamins and eating lots of fruit high in anti-oxidants and C in hopes to actually fight this bug. But when that day comes that I actually feel human again, I will get back to walking the dog, and exercising.

5. Our puppy Molly, has been chewing up the house. She chewed up the ottomon to my rocker. It is ugly now. I don't know if I can reupholster it or not. She also has trashed my furniture after she comes in from outside and has flthy paws from digging up the yard. She then has to jump on every single piece of furniture in the house leaving little muddy paw prints. I just realized that this one has a lot to do with #2 above.

Anyway, it has just been a hard time here in the Jackaroo house. But Jack is the bright spot in all of our lives with his constant singing and the why questions. Love that kid. I just don't know how to tell him that Grammy C is going to die soon. He still brings up Bob, our dog we had to put down in June. He misses him and is asking me why we had to bury his body. He must be thinking about Grammy C's death because he is always asking about people being buried and why we bury them and what happens after they die. All tough questions to answer a four-year-old.