Happy Easter

I hope everybody has a good Easter today. We are off to church and then having the Easter dinner after with some friends. I will take pictures of Jack in his little Easter outfit and post later.

My stubborn Non-Walker

I have a confession to make. I am jealous of those Mommies whose March babies are walking already. Some (Ben!) even walked at 8 months! I want to see my Jackaroo walk! Is that too much to ask? I know he can do it because he actually walked 3 steps at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Michigan. But we tricked him into that. And ever since then, he is onto us. If he sees another walking opportunity in his immediate future, he will sit right down on his little butt and I could swear he says "NO!".

He does cruise around the furniture and walls like an old pro. As long as he can hold onto something, he will take off like there is no tomorrow. He also will walk all around while holding my hand. But as soon as I let go, down he goes on that little rear-end of his. Yes I have the most stubborn child in the world. I know that he knows I want him to do it and therefore he is saying "I am gonna make her wait - Ha! Teach her to make me walk before I am ready". I just know that is what he is saying.

I would really like for him to be walking when we go on our cruise in 2 weeks. I would love to see him at the beach walking up to the water's edge. I know I know I just want that Kodak moment. But another reason is that the boy is heavy! He is 25 lbs and seriously, I can't carry him for too long before my back starts to give out. There is a reason why babies need to start walking at this age - to save their parent's backs!

In other news - we have the sickness crud back in our house again! Daddy has been sick for the last week - missing work and everything. I feel for him because a couple of weeks ago, I too was a slug. And then yesterday, I pick Jack up from daycare and yes he was sick also. It really was pathetic how he looked. His eyes were totally swollen and red and just plain sick looking. But just like babies, he was feeling back to his normal non-stop energetic self this morning. Oh yay!

In fact, at this moment he is trying everything in his might to shut the computer off. So I'll say by for now.

The First Haircut

"What do you mean take it all off?"

Getting strapped into the horsie chair. The look on his face says it all - he's not too thrilled to be there.

Yep there were tears

Are you sure she knows what she is doing?

The finished product. Such a handsome boy. He looks so much older now!

4 out of 5 tests say...

There really are false positives on pregnancy tests. I don't know what happened, but 4 negative pregnancy tests later, I am convinced that I am NOT pregnant. I know what I saw on Sunday and that was a big ole fat positive pregnancy test, but as in the case with me and my fertility journey, it wound up being a confusing mess.

I still don't know what happened to this day. I am confused about the whole thing (which doesn't surprise me because anything with me and fertility has never been easy). I don't think that I have suffered a miscarriage because I have not started my period yet. But for me to be a week or two late is not unusual for me at all. I still have pg symptoms, but now I am really wondering if I am wanting to have them so bad that I have invented them in my mind. I really don't think so because they seem so real as my stomach is telling me that being away from a bathroom is not a good idea.

So who knows??? It is a mystery to me. I guess I will go see a doctor in a few days if I still feel this way. But 4 out of 5 tests say that I am not pregnant.

It was fun though for a few days thinking that it was true. It was fun throwing names out and testing them. It was fun thinking and kinda hoping that it was a girl that I could dress up. And it was fun telling family and friends that another was coming. However what was not fun was telling them that it was all a mistake probably. Next time, I will wait awhile to make sure. No shouting it to the world for a few weeks. Lesson learned.

So. Many. Thoughts.

Ever since I laid eyes on my positive pregnancy test, my mind has been on this roller coaster ride. It seems so different this time than it did with Jack. Last time, I was basically in denial about the whole thing. I really couldn't believe that it had happened to me. Yes, I was insanely happy about it, but at the same time, I was in complete shock and disbelief.

This time however, I know what is ahead of me and while I am insanely happy again with the idea of bringing another baby into this world, I have so many conflicting thoughts. In the last 24 hours, my mind has run the gamut of highs and lows, total happiness to total fear.

Here are just a sampling of some of my thoughts:

1. Bedroom/bed arrangement. Does Laura get the guest bed, while Jack will probably be big enough for Laura's single bed and then the new baby moves into the crib. Jack moves into the guest bedroom. Of course if new baby is anything like Jack, he/she will not be actually sleeping in the crib for at least 5 months. In that case, I will probably be sleeping in guest bed with new baby.

2. Baby gear - we need to buy a new infant car seat. The old one was broken - one of the reasons we bought the Britax car seat. Also note to self, never buy another Evenflo car seat - they suck. Double strollers!! Oh my gosh, I am going to be one of those mothers with a double stroller!!!!

3. Car - we need to seriously think about a new car. Our current "family car" is my Rav 4 which seats 4 and only 4. Two car seats, Mommy, Daddy, and Laura = 5. The math doesn't add up.

4. Work - how do you work with 2 kids? Daycare is double, the work to get 2 kids there is double. How do you not work and still pay the mortgage? How do you stay sane if you stay home with 2 kids?

5. I just got done buying formula!

6. Double the diapers!

7. I almost got back down to pre-pg weight! But not the size - go figure.

8. I get to feel another human being growing inside me again. I love the kicking and the moving and love the bond you feel during those 9 months. The only thing good about being pregnant (well besides having an excuse not to clean out the cat box).

9. I really want to give Jack a sibling close to his age. I think it would really be good for him.

10. It could be a girl and I could dress her up in all those cute outfits I see on the "other" side of the store.

11. Oh my gosh I have to go through labor again! Hey didn't they say that epidurals could be given earlier now? Thats it, I want one within 5 minutes after checking in!

12. The instant love you feel when you hold that little baby in your arms and think its all worth it and it is all going to work out.


Yep, I have truly lost my mind!

Oh yeah I remember this feeling...

I was just not feeling very well yesterday. My stomach was queasy, I felt very tired, and the sign that I knew - my boobs were sore! Yes folks, I took a pregnancy test and it turned out positive! And yes I am in complete and total shock. I was going to take a picture of the test and post it on here, but these stupid new pregnancy tests these days that say the words pregnant or not pregnant are just bad. After one hour it goes away!! Whats up with that? I wanted to show Jim when he got home and low and behold no evidence that indeed I am pregnant. I felt like "Grumpy old man" from SNL saying "In my day we just had one line or two lines and we liked it!"

I am in shock and really don't know what else to say. I am sure my future posts will be filled with just how much I hate being pregnant (and I do). I remember telling people that I just didn't know why women did it more than once. Well I am one of those women now. Go figure!

Jack Jack Attack

I don't know if you have seen the movie The Incredibles. Well we didn't until we bought the dvd this week. And besides being a really cute, funny, smart and intelligent movie, it has a short little movie on it called "Jack Jack Attack". The movie is about this family with super powers and they have a baby named Jack Jack. I really do believe they had our Jack in mind when they wrote the script. Well in the movie, they kept saying that Jack Jack did not have super powers like the rest of the family. But the short little film added to the dvd showed what super powers he did indeed have. Jack Jack was being taken care of by a baby sitter name Kari (ahh instead of an a) and well Jack Jack's super powers came out at this time. Jack Jack could go through walls, had lasers come out of his eyes, and put himself on fire with no harm.

At the end of the day, it showed the babysitter totally haggard and the house a mess. Kinda how I feel after a day with my Jack Jack.

Where does it all go?

On Wednesday, my blessed day off, we went shopping. Daddy was also home (a rare occurance where both Mommy and Daddy have the day off together). Mommy has been feeling bad because nothing and I mean nothing in my closet fits me. I am very close (finally) to my pre-pg weight. Yahoo! But that doesn't mean anything thing, espcially pants, jeans or shorts, fit me. You see, Jack has left this spare tire on my belly that will not go away. So the few pairs of shorts I bought last summer well they are too big and the stuff from the summer before (pre-pg or early pg stuff) they are still too small. And we are going on a cruise in 2.5 weeks! This is just not acceptable.

So on Wednesday, we all went to Kohl's in hopes of finding Mommy something to wear. Daddy and Jack both are totally set for the cruise. I am going to be with the 2 best looking guys there. But me - not so much. After trying on 4 pairs of shorts - 1 fit! So after trying on literally 23 pieces of clothing, I ended up with 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of capri pans, and about 5 shirts. Argh. I do not like this post pg body of mine at all.

So after all that strenous shopping, we were all hungry. So we went to Chili's. Me feeling oh so fat decided to go straight to their "guiltless grill" and had a "guiltless chicken sandwich". And we ordered off the kids menu a corn dog and baked apples for Jack. And let me tell you, there was not one crumb left of Jack's dinner afterwards. He ate that corndog like an old pro, or I should say devoured it. Then I fed him the apples and those were all gone. Then he had some of my black bean stuff, and something off Daddy's plate. He ate more than me! And what did he do afterwards? We went home and he proceeded to take a 2 hour nap. Gotta love those corndogs!

He understands the opposite of No!

So tonight after I picked Jack up from daycare, I went to get him a new pair of shoes at the Nike outlet store. His Robeez shoes were really on their last legs. It didn't help that Daddy played "roll the baby down the driveway" this weekend where he skided them up and put numerous holes in the heels. It was a cute game where Jack was in his walker and we would let him roll down the hill of the driveway. Oh yeah and we did catch him at the end of the driveway, no need to call CPS on us. Jack thought it was the funnest game in the world.

So anyway, we are in the Nike store and I am trying a pair of shoes on a very wiggly and very stubborn Jack. He hates shoes and I mean hates em. So me trying a pair of confining Nikes on him is not good. So while I am struggling to get these size 4 shoes on him, he is wiggling and trying to get free. I keep saying "No Jack" and what does my angel son say? He turns around and says "Yes" right to me. I couldn't believe him! After many minutes of struggle and sweat and tears, I finally get these shoes on him and decide that they are good. I let him wear em out of the store.

So we are walking to the car and I am counting the hours until I can put my sweet angel to bed and maybe grab something alcoholic and he learns another new trick. He learns how to undo the safety belt on the stroller and is trying to stand up! So I bend down and try to buckle him back up and of course we are doing his usual struggle/screaming dance. I again say "No Jack" and again he says "Yes". Ahh the kid is trying my patience. At this point I wonder to myself how many times in a parents life, does one say "No"?

So my question is, if this is the terrible ones, what is the terrible twos going to be like? Forget that, I don't think I want to know. I think I want to be ignorant for awhile longer. Now where is that alcoholic something-or-other?

Random Pictures

Do I look good? Is my hair okay?

Brushing his hair while doggies are playing with his stuff

Little Jack's Corner (of the family room that is)

There she goes again with that camera

Just one more thing...

Lets have a talk

Now what can I do to cause trouble?

oh yeah I can take the bone away from my Doggie

Daddy and Jack hanging out

Daddy eating Baby Bellies. A fun sport in our house.

Bummed and sick

Yep thats my life this week. I caught the bug that had Jack so sick when we were in Michigan a couple of weeks ago. And now I totally understand why he was so cranky and didn't sleep at all. This stuff is bad, no I should say that again - it is BAD STUFF. I mean my throat hurt so much, it hurt when I breathed! My head was filled with so much green crap (I know really gross, but its true) that I literally thought it was going to explode. And sleep? Well who can do that when you can't breath and your head is exploding? So I must say this to Jack - I am sorry for trying to get you back to sleep just so that I could get some good non-head-exploding sleep. I understand now.

So because of this awful crud that has invaded my body, I was off work for 2 days this week. And that not only means that when I went back, I had a desk that was piled high of crap to do. But it also means that I have to miss the March Munchkin California Mommy Meet-Up tomorrow. I was looking forward to meeting other Mommy's from the March Munchkin onlinw board and see Jack interact with other babies his age. But nooooooo I had to get sick and miss work and now I can't miss anymore time. Boohoo yes I am bummed. And yes I am throwing myself a pity party - wanna come?

In other news, Jack has come through the sickness just fine. He is doing so many things that totally amaze me. His newest thing is that he will act out the patty cake nursery rhyme actions with me. He will clap his hands and then roll his hands. It is just the cutest thing in the world. Of course I feel bad that I have basically been a slug for the past few days and therefore not being able to mother him like I want to. But really, have you ever tried to give a 1yr old a bath and into jammies for bed all while your head is exploding and your throat hurts so bad you can't breath? Not fun.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!

The birthday boy

Why am I the only one with the stupid hat on?

Birthdays are fun, look at all the cool loot you get

Am I supposed to blow on this candle thingy?

Tastes like cake

Looks like cake

Feels like cake

C A K E !!!!!

Hmm I think I like this thing called birthday

Would you look at all those colors

Wow this stuff is really neat

The trick is getting it all mixed together and cover every square inch

Gee Mom Birthday cake and face paint all in one!

Time for bath! Notice Mommy's shirt got in the action also

This isn't cake! Hey who took my cake?

Dogs doing the pre-wash on the birthday boy's jeans

The aftermath

After bath all cleaned up birthday boy

Some birthday fun with Sissy

One last horsie ride on the big birthday

The cake hangover

The other cake - the one that did not get smashed!

Happy Birthday Baby Boy

Today is your first birthday, only 17 more and you will be considered an adult in our society. It has been quite a year for both you and I. You have been growing and learning about your new environment. And me, I have been learning how to be your mother the best that I can be.

I will never forget when the doctor announced "there's your baby" and I knew that I could finally meet you. You didn't cry when you came out at first. You and I had been through a lot in the past 20 hours of labor and we were both tired. The nurses were worried about you not crying, but everything else was absolutely perfect about you. Then they wrapped you all up tight and handed you to me. I just remember you had your blue eyes wide open and were just taking in the whole room, as if to say "so this is the place I heard about". Then you looked right at me, and my heart melted and I was in love with you. You were just so content to lay there in my arms. But the nurses took you away for a little bit. Your father and I were both crying because our little Jackaroo was finally here with us.

You might be wondering why I call you Jackaroo. It wasn't planned or anything while you were in my tummy. When the nurses finally brought you back to me later that night, I saw you sleeping there in your basinet so peacefully and it just came out. I said "theres my little Jackaroo". And well it has stuck ever since. Probably by the time you are old enough to read this, you will hate the name. Especially since both your father and I make up silly Jackaroo songs. "Jack Jack Jackaroo roo roo Jackaroo rooo roo I love you you you, Daddy too too too, he loves you you you, Sissy too too too we love you you you Jackaroo roo roo Jackaroooooo." Daddy would say "Jackawho?" and then I would say "Jackaroo!!" Yes it may sound silly when you are older, but believe me when you were 2 or 3 months old, you used to fall asleep listening to these silly songs. Another one of your favorites is the Itsy Bitsy Spider. That could calm you down while riding in the car like no other, especially when Daddy sang it.

Speaking of Daddy, I hope that you grow up to be just like him. Your father is the most caring and loving man I have ever met. And we are both lucky to have him in our lives. He works so hard for us. Can you believe that he regularly gets up at 3:30 in the morning to go to work to provide for us? I hope that you have your fathers calming presence and moral ethical standard. And remember to treat your future wife like your father treats me and you will have a very happy wife and marriage.

You may not know this, but I have wanted you for years before I even met your father. I knew that I was destined to be YOUR mother at some point in my life. I just did not know when you would show up. As soon as I met the best possible father (your Daddy), then you showed up. For years, I was trying to have you, but it was not time for you and me to meet until I met your father.

I am so proud to be your mother. I see you growing and changing everyday into a young little man. And I hope that when you are 18 years old standing on the brink of adulthood, that you will look back and know that I was there for you every step of the journey. I want you to feel the love that I have for you and be secure that you have two parents who love you very much and will do anything for you. Because I feel if you have the knowledge and security that we are behind you every step of the way, that you will indeed accomplish greatness Baby Boy. That you will become that young man I can only dream about on this day - the day of your first bithday.