So. Many. Thoughts.

Ever since I laid eyes on my positive pregnancy test, my mind has been on this roller coaster ride. It seems so different this time than it did with Jack. Last time, I was basically in denial about the whole thing. I really couldn't believe that it had happened to me. Yes, I was insanely happy about it, but at the same time, I was in complete shock and disbelief.

This time however, I know what is ahead of me and while I am insanely happy again with the idea of bringing another baby into this world, I have so many conflicting thoughts. In the last 24 hours, my mind has run the gamut of highs and lows, total happiness to total fear.

Here are just a sampling of some of my thoughts:

1. Bedroom/bed arrangement. Does Laura get the guest bed, while Jack will probably be big enough for Laura's single bed and then the new baby moves into the crib. Jack moves into the guest bedroom. Of course if new baby is anything like Jack, he/she will not be actually sleeping in the crib for at least 5 months. In that case, I will probably be sleeping in guest bed with new baby.

2. Baby gear - we need to buy a new infant car seat. The old one was broken - one of the reasons we bought the Britax car seat. Also note to self, never buy another Evenflo car seat - they suck. Double strollers!! Oh my gosh, I am going to be one of those mothers with a double stroller!!!!

3. Car - we need to seriously think about a new car. Our current "family car" is my Rav 4 which seats 4 and only 4. Two car seats, Mommy, Daddy, and Laura = 5. The math doesn't add up.

4. Work - how do you work with 2 kids? Daycare is double, the work to get 2 kids there is double. How do you not work and still pay the mortgage? How do you stay sane if you stay home with 2 kids?

5. I just got done buying formula!

6. Double the diapers!

7. I almost got back down to pre-pg weight! But not the size - go figure.

8. I get to feel another human being growing inside me again. I love the kicking and the moving and love the bond you feel during those 9 months. The only thing good about being pregnant (well besides having an excuse not to clean out the cat box).

9. I really want to give Jack a sibling close to his age. I think it would really be good for him.

10. It could be a girl and I could dress her up in all those cute outfits I see on the "other" side of the store.

11. Oh my gosh I have to go through labor again! Hey didn't they say that epidurals could be given earlier now? Thats it, I want one within 5 minutes after checking in!

12. The instant love you feel when you hold that little baby in your arms and think its all worth it and it is all going to work out.


Yep, I have truly lost my mind!