Two AM Ramblings

Hello there. I am sure you are all in bed sleeping right now. Me? Nawww. Jack woke me up about 30 minutes ago screaming "Mama, MY Mama, I want MY Mama". So since he was screaming my name and not oh say DADDY's name (who by the way was snoring next to me and never heard his son screaming), I decided I needed to get up and check on the child.

I guess he was having nightmares/growing pains. He was saying that it was "scary" in his room. And then in the next breath he was saying his legs hurt him, something he has been complaining about recently. My only guess is growing pains and hopefully that is it and not some unknown and dreadful disease. Yes, my mind can wander off to dangerous areas at two am.

So, I sat there on the floor next to him and rubbed his back and head until he fell back to sleep. I realized that the poor kid has his father's sinuses and can not breath through his nose at all. That was a topic of discussion at the pediatrician this last time. Turns out that Jack is highly allergic to whatever happens to be in the air - pollen, dust, cat hair, whatever. I found out that the purple ring that resides under his eyes most of the time is caused by severe allergies. And here I just thought it meant he was tired when the purple ring came out. Sometimes it is so dark that it looks like somebody gave him a black eye. So it seems that I need to put an air filter in his room, make sure I wash his pillow case always, and his hair, and have "indoor-only" clothes. Oy.

So as I sat on the floor watching him sleep, I suddenly realized that he is only about 3 or 4 inches from outgrowing the toddler bed! Granted, I could get him a smaller pillow so he would lay more toward the head of the bed. But still, I am thinking we may need to think about a twin bed within 6 months or so. And here I was thinking that the twin bed would be good until he was 4. Ha! Not Mr. Tall Jack. The kid needs to stop growing. I can't afford it!

And then there is the topic of me. I admit that I have been having a hard time lately trying to juggle between giving Jack enough of my attention and trying to get things done around the house. If it was up to Jack, he and I would be playing choo choos or putting together puzzles every minute of the day. And when I try to break away to do something he throws a fit and goes into his room and cries uncontrollably. I feel like I am pulled into so many different ways. Like yesterday morning, I had every intention of tackling the guest bedroom mess (kinda need to because Grammy and Papa are coming soon). It is bad. Really bad. Can't walk in the door bad. And somewhere in there is Laura's bedding for her bed (kinda need to find that cause she is coming on Thursday).

So anyway, I get up and make my way to the bedroom from hell. I gather up some stuff that needs to be washed. Take it to the washer and start the load. Then I hear Jack is up. So I go in there and say good morning and change his diaper. He wants to play choo choos. So we do for a little bit. Then I go and get breakfast for us. We eat. I load dishwasher with previous night's dishes. I close the dishwasher and because I am losing my mind, forget to turn the thing on. I go take a shower and then we are heading out the door to run errands and get groceries. It is 9 am.

We come back home at 12:30 pm. Jack is hungry. So I fix a PBJ sandwich for him. Sit him at the table eating while I carry in the 6,396 bags of groceries from the van. And while I am carrying the bags in, the running commetary in my head goes kinda like this: the cat box needs to be cleaned out it is looking gross, oh yeah I need to put the clothes in the dryer, oh crap the dog just pooped in the kitchen need to clean that up, uhoh Jack is still hungry need to find something else for him to eat, man this kitchen needs to be cleaned badly, look at that dirty floor, ugh the laundry room needs to be cleaned also, look at the kitty litter all over the floor, man I need to go pee really badly, why does the lady at Walmart have to use so many bags?, can't she put more than 2 things in a bag?, is it a rule only to put 2 things in a bag?, and the trash is overflowing need to take that out also.

At 1:45 after all the groceries put away, Jack fed, and a *few* of the things I mentioned above are done, I decide to put Jack down for a *nap* (Hahahaha). Yeah right. That lasts about 10 minutes before the screaming begins with "Mama come plaaayyyy with me". Oy.

So we play for a bit. We read books. We put puzzles together. We have a grand ole time. It is now 3:30. The doorbell rings. It is UPS with the new bench window seat I ordered. Hurray!

I bring The Biggest Box On Earth into my family room. Study it. Think about it. And then decide to try to tackle the task of putting the thing to together. Haha. Me. Put something together. I usually push the job off on Jim, but he has been working so hard lately, I thought that I would "help" him by putting together the bench that *I* ordered (not him).

Three hours laters and lots of "help" from Jack, Jim walks through the door from work and sees The Biggest Mess Ever in my family room. But the thing was almost completely assembled. Who knew I could put something together like that? Of course, it highlighted just how stupid I can be with stuff like that and Jim would have had it done in an hour, but who cares. And because I spent the last 3 hours on it, no dinner was made. It was a "get-whatever-you-can-scrounge-up" dinner for everybody.

After The Biggest Mess Ever was completed, it was time to get Jack into jammies and into bed. After reading three books, saying "goodnight", "I love you", "See you in the morning". I walk out to the family room. My day is done. After 14 1/2 hours of 'work". The sad thing is, the house looked the same as it did earlier in the morning! Can I just go back to "work" so I don't have to "work" so much? Seriously. This stay-at-home gig is HARD. And the only time I had to myself was the 5 minutes in the shower.

It seemed easier when we were in California. Jack took naps. Nice naps. Two-hour naps. The house was always nice (the trying to sell thing). We had a routine with playgroups, gym class, and the one wonderful day a week he went to daycare/school for the whole day. I had the SAHM thing down. It was managable. I even had time for the occasional nap myself!

Now, I feel like I am going and going and going and nothing ever gets done. I know that Jack is my first priority and I need that time with him, but I also need an organized and settled house which I do not have at the moment. And his school time is not long enough. By the time I take him there and come back, an hour has passed already. So that means I only have about an hour and half before I need to go pick him up. Not long enough people.

All I am saying is that something needs to give. Or I will lose my mind (if I haven't already). Alright now I will try to get back to sleep. Nite Nite. See ya in the morning.