My Good Boy

Today after the news from my "lovely" insurance company (see previous post), I just sat in the kitchen feeling totally defeated. The past couple of months have beaten us up financially. I can't even begin to fathom the bills that have come our way, almost to the point of being ridiculous. Yeah there was the planned ones like insurance and whatnot, but the unplanned ones like stupid insurance companies not paying for what they should, just knocks ya for a loop.

And that is how I was feeling when all of a sudden, I just started to cry. I haven't done that in so long, probably since Jack's infant days. But I just felt so beaten down. It has been so bad financially, that every last dollar we are spending lately, I have scrutinized. And I was just feeling good in the fact that the last big bill was paid yesterday and we could maybe start to breathe just a little again come next payday. And then wham, I am hit with $386 worth of mamogram expenses.

So there I was crying in the kitchen and Jack comes into the room. He looks at me with a really worried look, probably because I don't think he has ever seen me quite like that before. He asked me if I was sad and I told him that I was a little sad. And then he asked me a question that just about broke my heart and made me realize how personal kids take everything. He asked me if I was mad at him. Which of course made me want to cry even harder for making him think that. I gave him a huge hug and told him that I was so not mad at him and in fact, he is the one that makes me very happy. And then he told me that he wanted me to be happy and I said I was because I had him for a little boy and that made me the luckiest Mama in the world. And the big hug he gave me was worth every penny that lousy insurance company is taking away from me.

Then I decided to take Jack to the Discovery Center, where Bob the Builder was visiting for the next three days. He was beyond excited and we had a great time there and it was wonderful to just watch my little boy sing and dance and have a great time. I realized that is why we are struggling financially, so that I can be home and take him to these things and just be there for him. We will make it and it is worth it. I just needed to be reminded of that fact again.