17 Months!!!

Jack is 17 months old today. Good grief, he is almost a year and a half old! How did that happen? He is so not a baby anymore. He is a very happy little boy who is full of energy and giggles. There is not a day that goes by that he doesn't make me laugh. It is so nice to come home to see him and know that all the other stuff just doesn't matter when I have my Jackaroo around.

He talking more and more now. Or I should say, I am understanding more and more. He has always "talked" nonstop, but now he actually is forming real words. When I ask him if he is ready to go bye bye he will reply "rrrreeeedddyyy". I also love his little voice. It is so incredibly cute and can melt my heart in an instant. He said "uv u" the other day and I melted right there.

He loves to eat. Some of his favorite things are spaghettios (and of course we have to say "uhoh spaghettio" whenever we open a can), apples, peaches, yogurt, Jello pudding, hot dogs. But I have to say that his all time favorite food is bananas and the kid can eat one in about 5.6 seconds. Truly amazing. He also is using a spoon pretty well these days. Of course, we have to strip him down to his diaper and then plop him into a bath right afterwards. But he sure is proud of himself for eating like a big boy.

He is growing up and my thoughts are turning to other children. Let me first say this - I am old. I am 38 years old and never ever was my plan to have kids late in my 30's. But life doesn't always grant you what you want. In my case, infertility treatments then a failed marriage got in my way of my carefully-laid plans. But here I am and I really refuse to have a child when I am 40. So that doesn't give me much time, if any at all.

Jack was a miracle. There is no other way to put it and I thank God everyday for that miracle. I was told that I could not get pregnant without some serious medical intervention. So birth control was a waste to me and you can imagine my surprise when I did turn up pregnant ala naturale. But can I do it again? And if not, do I really want to do those horrid horrid medical treatments? Can I be happy with just Jack and Laura, who I think of as my child?

All these questions and more are floating through my head almost daily. My plan was to have at least 2 kids because I did not want an only child. But in reality Jack is not an only child because of Laura.

So my plan is this. Continue as we are for a few more months, maybe until the end of the year (as in no birth control). And if nothing happens by then, I will give up my fertility journey forever. A journey that started almost 10 years ago and produced one perfect little boy. Who just happens to turn 17 months old today. Happy Month Day Jack!