Big Big Changes! And no it is not another baby coming, although that would be a big change now wouldn't it. But, this big change is that I am QUITTING my Job! I am going to officially give my letter of resignation on Monday, but the decision has been made - I am going to be a Stay At Home Mother (SAHM).
I am scared and excited all at the same time. I am scared about the finances and not having my own paycheck is going to be pretty weird. I am very independent person and like making money! I am also scared if I can handle being a SAHM. Can I handle Jack 24/7? THATS a scary thought right there. I am dropping his daycare obviously and don't have any babysitters in my area, except for my friend Janet who is about 20 minutes away. I am going to start asking around to see if I can score a couple of good reliable babysitters in my neighborhood. I am feeling bad about taking him out of daycare because he does love it so much there and I know that the social interaction with the other kids is really good for him. He is such a social kid. I asked Pat, his daycare provider, if she does "drop-ins" where I can drop him off for the day, but she doesn't. She is usually running full capacity for kids. I know Jack is going to miss her a lot.
The reason for this big change, is because the work environment has changed a lot in the last month or so. I know that my boss wants a full-time person in my position and I just won't do it. I offered to go 4 days a week, but 6 hours a day. He said okay, but I know that he still is not happy with my hours. He said that my work is really good, but I just need to be there more often. He is the one who offered for me to leave and go on unemployment that he would okay. And after running the numbers of unemployment and comparing to what I bring home after daycare and gas, well the numbers were VERY close. So that got me to thinking and I came home last night and Jack is the one who made my mind up. He was so cuddly (something he very rarely ever is!) for some reason. It felt to me like he was feeling like he has not seen me very much this week and couldn't get enough of me. He kept walking up to me and giving me huge hugs and kisses and just sat and cuddled in my lap for like 20 minutes. So I made my mind up right then and there last night.
Jim is happy about me quitting. He has been after me for a long time to quit. I think that with me not working, life around here is going to be a lot easier on all of us. Less Stress and and more happiness!
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3 comments:
I am so excited for you!! I was a SAHM for the Andrew's first 15 months. And loved it! Of course, the obvious of spening time with my kiddo, but everything was easier...dinner, cleaning, etc... I miss it (but we need the beneifits, so I keep putting him my time). Congrats again!!
Dude, that is so exciting! As someone who went from being a part-time working mom to a full-time SAHM very recently, I can tell you that, while it can be a scary leap, it is worth it on so many levels. For me, just the simplicity alone makes it ten thousand times better than work. I don't have any deadlines, I don't have any guilt about leaving the buster in day care, and I get to take a huge nap in the middle of the day!
That said, I totally understand your worries. There will be tough times, where you want to kill each other, and also where you miss having $$ of your own and grown-ups to talk to. I know I feel like I have a big "L" on my forehead whenever I go to the doctor now and have to put all the hubs's info down as the "responsible party" because I'm "unemployed." Yeah, that makes me feel like a worthwhile human being.
But being with Jacaroo and giving him your attention all day long is so much better for you and for him than the alternatives. Like you, I thought Isaac might be bored with me because he loved his daycare so much, but he and I are tighter than ever now. Because, like you, I think it's important for him to interact with other kids, I would advise you to find a playgroup or a mom's group ASAP. Many churches host these (and you don't have to belong to go), and/or you can find them listed in community newspapers or even online. We go to a rather large playgroup at a church once a week and it is a blast for Isaac, who gets to play with all these other kids, and for me, who gets to chat with all these other moms. Also re: a babysitter -- we are in the same boat as you, except maybe even more isolated. We found our babysitter through the local university's classifieds -- if you are near a university, this is a great option. A mom I met at playgroup found her babysitter at church.
Jeez, sorry for writing such a novel here, but having very recently encountered the identical situation, I can totally relate! Hope some of this helps!
Claire! Thanks so much for your "novel". It gives me a lot of encourgement. It is weird not having a job since I have had one since I was basically 18 years old. But the more I think about it, the more I can't wait to walk out of my job. I am very excited about the possibilities of playgroups. You also gave me some ideas about finding playgroups and babysitters.
Kelli, thanks for the congrats! I know from reading your blog that working is a hard thing for you and I think you handle it really well!
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